Thoughts on the death of MJ

I think most people can recall where they were when they heard the news about tragic events like the death of President Kennedy, the death of Elvis, and 9/11. The news of Michael Jackson's sudden death will be one of the those unforgettable moments too.

On Thursday, June 25 I had taken the kids to Ashville's Fun In the Sun event at the park, taken Ashley to her art class at CMA, and visited my friend Renee and her newborn daughter. I returned home around 4:40pm exhausted not only from running all day, but I couldn't sleep the night before, so had been up since 4:30am. My wagon was draggin so I decided to lay down on the couch and watch the news until I saw the weather and then I was going to get up and make dinner. They had reported around 5:45 that MJ was in cardiac arrest and had just arrived to the hospital in LA. Well, I fell asleep and woke up around 6:27 to Cabot Rea on the channel 4 news reporting that MJ was in a coma. Shortly after, the national news came on and Brian Williams confirmed that MJ had passed away.

At first I was seemingly unphased. Sadly, all I could think of was what a miserable individual he was, how tragic his life had been, and was relieved for him, that now, hopefully, he was at peace and the madness could stop. I kept thinking about what a train wreck he was, and all I could do was roll my eyes and shake my head every time I heard his name in the news. I just shuddered at everything from his bizarre behavior, to the sickening allegations of child abuse, to MJ "the father". What a disaster. Now he's out of his misery.

It wasn't until this morning that I got a little sentimental after waking up to and having the Today Show on all morning and hearing all his musical masterpieces that brought back so many memories of my childhood. I immediately thought of my sticker book that I had in 3rd and 4th grade (early 80's - around 84). I had a rather large collection of MJ stickers. One of them said "I love Michael" :) Ironically, I never owned one of this albums even though I loved his music and it really defined the era I grew up in. My mother had a vinyl LP of "Off The Wall", so I guess that counts. On my iTunes I have six of his songs: Don't Stop Til You Get Enough, Smooth Criminal, Rockin' Robin, Thriller, Wanna Be Startin Something, and Billie Jean. I also really like Black or White, and the We Are The World. I've seen the Jackson Family movie, American Dreams, several times, mostly bits and pieces here and there when it is on TV because it's over 4 hours long.

Now that the initial shock has passed and it is sinking in, I find it even more sad. We have lost an entertainment icon. I think, as a person, he was the product of an abusive, selfish father that didn't know how to love, and he yearned, in his adult years, to be that child he never got to be and show the love he yearned for, however odd that was portrayed in the media. As an artist he was unprecedented and determined to never let his fans down when it came to expectations of his talent. Furthermore, he was a victim of fame. He thrived on it because he didn't know how to live without it, and never had. Now I find myself curious on what his children have to say about him. The two oldest only have 7 or 8 years until they're 18 and no one can "protect" them anymore. Anxious to see who's gonna break the silence of their childhood memories to the media and when. Maybe that's closer than we think. I do pray that they have had a happy life with him as their father and have good memories of him. That would be a much better way to remember the personal life of an extraordinary legend.

This is a loss to the world of proportions that I cannot fathom. It's still sinking in. I do hope that his musical legacy over his 45 year career surpasses the tragic public struggles he has created and lived through over the past 15 years.

I asked Ashley and Logan this morning if they knew who Michael Jackson was. They both said no. I told them that he was a very talented singer who was famous all over the world, and that he sang music that mommy liked when I was kid, and that he had died. Ashley asked how old he was. I told her he was fifty. She said, "Wow. That's younger than MeeMee. But as old as Barbie." Barbie turned 50 this year too :)